The Turtle

by Kathy
(New Jersey)

My parents married young, had children right away. I was the oldest, my sister came 2.5 years later and my next sister 10 months after her. the third sister died at 15 months from spinal meningitis. My mother was angry at being pregnant so quickly and blamed herself for the child's death. My father did not allow anyone to speak of her again. My mother went into a deep depression and died of lung cancer at 51. My father remarried and estranged himself from me because I did not approve for 25 years. He developed vascular dementia, had two psychotic breaks, and is now 87 and deteriorating terribly.

He never dealt with his emotions on anything. He always stuffed them away and pretended they did not exist. He sold his home and his business and move out of state to get away from me because he couldn't bare the thought of seeing me. That weighed heavily on his heart. I would not be surprised if that is what brought his disease on.

My father never had a faith, until he went to Florida because he was tormented by his past errors.