keeps track of everyone else's life, names, children and their ages etc.

by Carol

Mary, my mother, has alzheimers. She has just been diagnosed with it, but I'm sure she's had it for a couple of years, since she has been very forgetful. I have often wondered about her hobby of having her fridge plastered with the pictures of many people and their children and always thinking and keeping track of all of these people in a very superficial way, and whether that has contributed to her disease. I wondered about this even years ago before she got alzheimers. If I hadn't seen her in a while and then saw her she would greet me by telling me all about people that I didn't even know and the names and ages of their children. It seems strange to me to be so interested in something so irrevelent. She is also very religious and prays daily for all of these people by name. She has prayer lists. When she tells me about these people that I don't even know, I feel like saying, who cares Mom? It's not that I don't care about people, but I don't care about the names of people that don't know and their ages and their children. This is information that I don't need to clog up my mind with.

This is a kind of extroversion that I feel is unhealthy. It's like looking for your happiness by having a lot of information about other people. It's like feeling that you know people when all you really know about them is very superficial information, like names and ages and occupations.

What I am working on for myself is introversion, staying quiet, in my meditation making God my mother, my nurturer, my one support, catching myself when I start looking to human beings for acceptance, approval and appreciation and stopping myself. My mother doesn't understand even why I would want to do this. I see looking to human beings for support as attachment and I find it imprisoning.

My mother and father are a couple and she does have him to look after her. They are totally joined to one another, which is fortunate in a way because at least my mother has someone who cares a lot for her to look after her. I see from his eyes that he is struggling with it, but on the surface he is very patient.

Comments for keeps track of everyone else's life, names, children and their ages etc.

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 17, 2015
Hiding or Coping with Forgetfulness
by: Eloisa

Thank you so much for sharing. I am wondering when your mother started her hobby of putting pictures and names of people on her refrigerator? As you can tell, the Alzheimer's starts way before it is diagnosed. So I am wondering if the "hobby" your mother had was her way of coping or not facing her forgetfulness. My mother could hide very well that she did not remember someone's name by calling them an indearing general name, like "child", "dear", etc.

Any illness or medical diagnose can be difficult to face and in particular, in my opinion, for people with Alzheimer's since forgetting or putting things out of mind can be a way to avoid facing hurtful or unpleasant events and emotions. It can be a way of not dealing with or feeling the emotional pain. Just some food for thought.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Alzheimer s Disease and My Loved One's Story.

Kindle Version: $4.99

"I bought a copy of your book... I just wanted to say thank you for writing it. I was pretty desperate to feel better physically and emotionally when I got it, and since, I've experienced profound emotional healing. Thank you for giving me the healing messages I needed to hear, like a kind, loving mother."

by Ilona Z.

Reading Chapter 3