How To Be Happy?
Learning to Access What is Already Within

If you are searching for the answer to, "How to be Happy", then you recognize that some part of you is unhappy or dissatisfied.

It means you are in touch with your feelings. Many people around the world will not recognize or admit that they are unhappy. I was one of these people.

I remember a college teacher, in trying to help me decide on a major, told me, "Just think back to a time when you were happy. What were you doing?" To my disbelief, I could not locate a single moment!

Not connecting to a single memory in my past where I felt happy was a “wake up” call for me. It was obvious I did not know how to be happy.

However, I knew logically that I could not have been unhappy every single moment of my life either!

I grew up with a kind, responsible father that was a good provider. My mother was devoted to the family. I had good health, participated in church, was successful in school, and had good friends. I smiled at everyone. But, when I went to bed, I felt an emptiness inside.

I figured the emptiness was there because I lacked something, a boyfriend perhaps. I got a boyfriend but the emptiness remained.

Later in college, it dawned on me that I was disconnected from my feelings and myself.

I saw how I had stopped paying attention to how I felt very early in life. I made myself believe that feelings were irrelevant.

I did what a "good kid" was supposed to do and got rewarded. It seemed like there were no choices.

I would permit myself to want only things that I was reasonably sure I could get. I stayed emotionally safe this way.

In college, it took months to reconnect with my feelings, and longer to name those feelings. But one night, the emptiness inside me vanished!

I had accepted myself, deciding to put down the false mask of who I thought I "should" be.

Perhaps you, like me, tried to find the “right” person, thing, or situation that would bring us happiness and discovered they only gave us a temporary feeling of excitement, pleasure, or fun.

Temporary feelings wear off. They are not permanent states of being.

Nevertheless, the longing for a more permanent or complete happiness connects us to a deeper desire, our Spiritual awakening.

This longing for something greater exists within us all.

All unhappiness with a situation, oneself or another person is just a way to trigger us into turning our attention inward so we can reconnect with a deeper sense of well being.

This is what I call happiness.

I cannot give you the “tips to happiness” or the “secrets to happiness”. All I can offer is my approach to uncovering happiness within.

The question for me is, “What is in the way?” rather than, “How to be happy?”.

Blocks to how to be happy:

1. Blaming our negative feelings on external things, on what other people do and say or/and blaming ourselves.

2. Powerlessness--believing that our unhappy reactions are caused by external forces and we can't change them.

3. Attachment to the idea that happiness resides outside of us in some thing or person and if "only we had that, or had achieved that, or lived over there, or had not gone through that, etc."

Clearing the blocks to how to be happy

Using EFT Tapping, I ask, "What is making me feel unhappy?"

I focus my attention with intention to tune in to the unhappy feeling and find its root. As I tap, I ask myself, "Where is this feeling coming from?"

Information will surface, maybe a thought, an event, an image, or belief.

This is the cause of the unhappiness. Often it is a judgement, a belief that says I "should", or a limiting self image that has been "written on my wall".
It is this internal programming that gives rise to our feelings, reactions and personal perception of the external world.

The blocks to happiness are found at the level of our "programming" or learning in our mind. It is hard to see this because we don't usually question our thoughts and beliefs.

The more I erase the "writing on my wall", the lighter and more carefree my attitude is to what shows up in my life. As a result, I can accept what is in the moment with grace, ease and flow.

Practicing EFT daily has helped me to realize that I have a choice in how I feel and how I see things. I can shift my point of view and see the “unhappy” situation differently.

I don’t need to feel unhappy or disappointed or angry, etc. about anything! That is freedom!

If I let go of all conditions and limitations to happiness that are "written on my wall", I am free to be happy under every condition and at every moment! This is a permanent state of being!

So maybe you don’t really need to know “How to be happy?” Just unlearn or clear the thoughts, feelings, judgments, and images in your mind that are the source of your unhappiness.

I understand that this may seem difficult to do. This is why I am so grateful for EFT, it has made the process of letting go so much easier and fun!

Learning and practicing EFT is not the only way. I believe that "Many roads lead to the same place". However, EFT has proven itself to me.

Try this exercise: Look back at your past and remember a moment when you felt happy?

Go as deeply as possible into that memory. Notice all the sensations: the temperature, the sounds, the colors, the smells, the people, the emotions in the air. Feel as much as you can.

Now, think about your current life. What is wrong with your current life? Is there anything missing from this picture?

Make a list of issues and feelings that come up. If you can't name what you feel, locate it in your body as a physical sensation.

These are blocks to happiness that need clearing.

Are you willing to want to be happy with yourself, just as you are, even with all these issues and feelings?

Are you willing to want to be happy anyway regardless of how other people treat you or how you treat yourself?

Are you willing to want to be happy with whatever situation shows up for you in life?

Are you willing to want to let go all the unhappiness from the past?

Any “No” answers will psychologically reverse your energy. It means that your are divided in your desire for happiness because part of you is vested or/and valuing unhappiness.

This blocks or self sabotages your true desire for happiness.

EFT tapping can help you clear the resistance. You will then be completely open to receiving what is already within, lasting joy and happiness. Maybe learning how to be happy requires unlearning how to be unhappy!

No matter how difficult the problems are, be persistent! Choose to go deeply and discover the answer to How to be Happy for yourself!

If you want an EFT phone session with me, click here. I am happy to answer your questions and work with you via phone or Skype.

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